It's strange to talk to someone with a healthy body about chronic pain. I wake up and I feel more tired or sick than I did the night before. Standing for more than a couple minutes burns my feet. My heart palpates, my skin burns, and vertigo hits at unknown times for unknown reasons. I know what it's like to be bed-bound for a day due to pain doctors can't explain, which makes it all the harder to explain to employers, friends, and family. No test has been able to explain why my body fails at being a body. It's only thanks to the compassion of some very few doctors and their trust in my experiences that I have any diagnoses of pain at all. When people ask how I am, I literally don't know how to answer: it's always painful, even on my best days.​

​

I've definitely lost some friendships because of my chronic pain and some of that is definitely on me; it's hard to feel comfortable and understood. Distance and days at home just feel safer. But, I'm really thankful to have a close group of friends who have been through most of what I have and more. These friends love tea dates, taking the smallest of walks, planning day trips and canceling them, and we really love movies. We do our best to remember birthdays and doctor appointments, and to reschedule when one of us, inevitably and often, has to cancel. They offer a gentle comfort that few other people can because their empathy is unconditional.

​

I'd like to honor them with this design that happily aligns with the current spooky season:

Bubble, Dove, & Pup

​​